Book Review: Danco, K., (1981), From the Other Side of the Bed, The Center for Family Business

This book addresses how a spouse in a family business (most often a woman) might look at life Its focus is on the various roles that a spouse of a family business leader might find her/himself in. This is in contrast to most other books on family business that tend to cover the topic of business strategy and/or leadership in family firms.

Before discussing the specific aspects of the author’s recommendations, let me first highlight two general issues that in many ways set this book apart from most others in family business literature.

First, the author says that a spouse is also business oriented. A spouse should therefore understand that the CEO job in a family business firm typically requires hard work and long hours on the job. This is usually what it takes to make the firm successful!

Let me offer two examples from my own experience here. First, when I left IMD as President, my successor told me that he would be putting in fewer hours than I had done. He did not seem to realize that to do successfully run an internationally renowned education institution requires hard work and a big time commitment. Not surprisingly, IMD faulted dramatically during my successor’s tenure. After two years, he was asked to resign. I suggest therefore that time is of the essence — many high-level positions and leadership roles simply mean working hard and long, and being available even after working hours.

The other example is tfrom the Norwegian School of Business (BI) in Oslo, where I had also been the President. I had streamlined the school’s structure, reducing the number of departments from 10 to 3, to enhance cooperation among diverse faculty groupings, i.e., less silos. My successor reversed this decision, however, reinstating the old structure. He felt that this might save him work, as he believed that he could review more homogeneous units, “easy to understand”. Consequently, BI’s ranking fell sharply.

Secondly, the author of this book seems to recommend that family business issues and family issues should be kept separate. This is mostly in contrast to what other leading experts on family business are saying. Professor R. Taiguri, Harvard Business School, for instance, feels that it might be difficult, even unrealistic, to keep these two separate (Taiguri and David, 1978)^[1].

Now to some of the specific topics discussed in the book. First of all, the author points out that many family business leaders, cum “doers”, tend to be too attached to their work, thus frequently becoming overworked and frustrated in their lonely worlds. Priorities are often confused, and it may be difficult for many family business CEOs to actually explain their firms’ strategies.

Also, when raising the children of family business leaders, the next generation, it seems particularly important to impress on them that wealth is not a windfall, rather that it must be earned and responsibly managed. We too often see that this may not always be fully understood by members of that next generation. While they are usually happy to inherit wealth, they are at times unprepared to accept the enormous responsibility that goes along with this.

The author recommends a three-phased teaching program for the younger family members. In the first phase, the focus is on 4 ideals: love, respect, discipline and accommodation (other people may also be involved, often with different objectives). In the second phase, the next generation should learn more about wealth, i.e. that this might be enjoyable, but that it also comes with responsibility (mentioned earlier). In the third phase, the focus should be on earning, how the family firm will generate sufficient income!

Young members of a business-owning family shall of course have to do some hard thinking about whether or not they would like to join the family business, attempt to grapple with what kind of person he/she is, and think about which life ambitions might be central. To keep one’s options open as long as possible seems key. Many times, that which one deeply desires today can seem a little foolish tomorrow! Perhaps the most fundamental realization that a next generation family member will have to come to terms with is that working in a family-owned firm is not a job, but a way of life!

It may often be particularly difficult for “new” family members, such as daughter/sons-in-law, to fully understand the value system within a family business, and the various requirements that this might entail. The norm may be very different working hours than those found in typical public firms! The author stresses the importance of openness and clear communication to achieve family alignment.

The orchestration of a good retirement process is essential. Critical here is to be clear about what to do now for the retiring leader. Working, while important, is typically not enough. Hobbies and community work could be other activities, as could a role as a senior advisor, or even being a member of the board

In conclusion, to build and run a successful family business is serious, rewarding and valuable. This viewpoint should thus guide the many aspects of family life. As spouses, for instance, we must find ways to cope with 14-hour workdays and being on-call for last-minute or unexpected requests. Fears and frustrations when “in the tunnel” must be accepted. It is the reward at the end of the tunnel that matters! A good role for spouses could be to act as a “buffer”: e.g. to be present among family members who have different understandings of what being in the tunnel entails, such as the differing perspectives between children working in the business and the boss.

There is a valuable foreword by the author’s husband, Dr. Léon Danco. He makes the point that his wife’s book is probably more for men than for women. His point is well taken. While how family businesses are typically run have a male-centric flavor, effective leaders of family firms should also comprehend the female dimension. This latter might have a fundamental impact on the family firm’s performance, not just today but tomorrow. Creative, non-linear thinking is key!

This short book raises essential issues central to successful family firms. Regrettably, many such issues in the general family business space tend to be overlooked. I therefore not only recommend this book strongly, but also acknowledge that much of what is suggested here has led to fundamental revisions in the way we run our own family firm.

^[1] Taiguri, R., and Davis, J., (1978), Bivalent Attributes of a Family Firm, Family Business Review.